Pre-battle Musings of a One Captain Peroxide
by yaebird
Summary: Spike's thoughts before fighting Glory. [Missing scene/Takes place during "The Gift"]


**First fic, here goes. Reviews are always appreciated.**

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Spike was a lot of things. Stubborn, devious, and cunning to name a few. But he never considered _noble _to be something he would describe himself as. He was never anything remotely synonymous with noble. Except maybe that one time he helped saved the world, but he was only doing that so that he wasn't destroyed with it. Spike was supposed to be the _big bad_. He was a vampire. He was _evil_.

And yet, here he is, helping the Slayer herself gather weapons to fight the good fight, with no expectations of anything in return in sight.

The scoobies had found themselves up against a powerful, godlike being from a different dimension, and it looked like the world was in peril once again. The goddess, "Glory", or so her minions called her, was a being of chaos and destruction. The utter definition of chaotic evil. Something Spike would've considered himself being at one point, but that doesn't really count anymore. Glory was planning on opening a portal to her home dimension for the _stupidest_, most _mundane _reason Spike had ever heard. She wanted to go _home_. That's it. What kind of evil motivation is that?

Well, her wanting to go home would be all well and good if it weren't for the fact that, not only would she leave the portal open for all of the ungodly and terrifying creatures and disasters to pour through, but she had to sacrifice Dawn Summers to do it. Dawn. The Slayer's little sister. _Buffy's_ little sister. And Spike was not okay with that. Not one bit. He had grown rather fond of the kid over the years. Even when he was evil, he thought the girl had spunk. But now that he _knows _her, it would take something pretty big and mean to stop him from protecting her. Buffy knew this. That's why she trusts him to do said protecting.

"I'm counting on you," she had said. "To protect her."

Ever since Spike found himself in the unpreferable predicament that was falling in love with the Slayer, he had realized that he would do almost anything if she asked him to. A hopeless romantic at heart, he was. Strange how being turned into a soulless monster never took away that part of him.

"To the end of the world," he had said back. "Even if that happens to be tonight."

And he meant it. He would protect Dawn until the world ended with some inevitable big bad having a hand in it. Because he wasn't just protecting her because he was in love with her big sister. He was protecting her because he cared about her. Ever since he had gotten that chip implanted in his head that stopped him from hurting humans, he had gotten closer to the scoobies, albeit unwillingly at first. He even started caring about their wellbeing. The entire time he had been a vampire, he never believed he'd _care _about someone other than Drusilla, his sire. But after she left him, he found that it was rather easy to get attached to the very group of humans that had once thwarted his evil plans. The feeling was, for lack of a better word, _weird_.

So here he is. Big bad vampire gathering up weapons to save the day. To save Dawn. To make sure the scoobies don't get themselves killed while trying to save the world. To make sure Buffy doesn't have to lose anyone else because he knows that it would break her.

As Spike placed the needed weapons in the duffel bag he had brought, he heard Buffy come down the stairs. He looked over his shoulder at her-_why had she changed?_-and noticed the intent look on her face. He could practically _hear_ her thinking. A wave of anxiety swept through him as he thought about what could be running through her head.

"I know you'll never love me," he had told her as she went up the stairs. "I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man."

Of all the stupid things that had come out of his mouth, that had to be the stupidest. Why had he said anything? Not only is he going to be thinking about it all night, but Buffy will also be thinking about it too. _Great going, Spike. You're a real smart bloke_.

"Spike?" Buffy said, knocking him from his thoughts. "You got everything?"

"Yep. All set." He replies, finally zipping up the duffel and preparing to walk to the door. He ran a hand through his unusually messy hair as he passed her, and nodded to the door. "We should get going. Not much time."

Buffy nodded, setting her jaw. But before Spike could cross the threshold, she called his name to stop him. He looked at her, eyebrow raised and head tilted. It looked like she was struggling to open her mouth again.

"Spike, I…" She shook her head and sighed. "Don't get yourself killed out there, okay? If something happens to me-"

"Not gonna happen."

"If something happens to me, you're the only one strong enough to keep Glory at bay."

A twinge of disappointment settled in Spike's stomach before he quickly squashed it. He opened his mouth to say a snarky remark when she spoke again.

"And besides, it would get pretty quiet without you talking every five seconds."

She said it like she was teasing him, but her face said otherwise. She had a sort of thoughtful look on her face, one Spike had only seen a few times.

He gave her a hesitant, reassuring nudge with his elbow. "Nothing's gonna happen to you, Slayer. Or the little bit."

He caught a glimpse of a smile on her face before she walked out the door before him. As he followed her out, he felt lighter than he did when they first arrived at the Summers' home.

Things will turn out just fine, he decided. They'll stop Glory, save Dawn, and save the world with her. They'll win like they always do and then have a party afterward with tons of junk food. No one's gonna get hurt (except Glory and her scabby minions), and everything's gonna be fine. They'll all make it.

They had to, right?


End file.
